Surrender

I haven't heard or sung this song in years, probably since high school. But it is pressing deeply on my heart tonight:


Holy Father 
As we stand before Your throne 
As we look upon Your face
We confess Your matchless grace
Lord and Savior
We are nothing without You
There is nothing we can do  
But to serve and follow You
And surrender, And surrender
To surrender, All our dreams 
All we are
All that we are to become 
All of our love 
(Words & Music by Bruce Chollar & Larry James Copyright © 1986 Larry James)

Holy Father, as I stand before Your throne, as I look upon Your face, I confess Your matchless grace.

God's grace is so strong! It has redeemed me from the depths of despair. It has redeemed me from myself. Looking at God brings to light how small I am compared to Him. And yet, though I don't deserve it, He has given me so much!

Lord and Savior, I am nothing without You, there is nothing I can do, but to serve and follow You.

When I try to do things on my own, I am so weak. This isn't to say that I am not a capable person, but whatever I might do in my own strength pales in comparison to what He does. Why do I even try to go my own way? There truly is no other choice but to follow Him. Life is simply empty and irrelevant without His hand in it. 

And surrender all my dreams 

I have so many hopes and dreams and ideas of what my life should look like. But God has even better ideas and dreams. He has a better future for me than I could ever imagine. I cannot have both. I must give up my own and grasp the mystery of His. 

And surrender all I am and all that I am to become 

I have so many identities that I hold onto and that I want for myself. Mother. Wife. Missionary. Friend. Leader. The list is nearly endless. God knows who He wants me to be right now and who He wants to mold me into. It is only in giving in to His desire for me that I will truly be ME.

To surrender all of my love 

What do I love? My family, my security, my church, my friends. God must be at the top of that list, for it is only in my love for Him that I can truly love others.

A wise teacher recently said:
Sometimes following God feels like death. You look at what He calls you to do and think, "God, doing this will KILL me!!" But be assured, there is freedom and joy in following Him.

Yes, death. Surrendering my dreams and hopes and identity and love feels like death. God may be calling me to things that look very different than what I have in mind for my life. To follow feels like more than I can bear. It's one thing to follow God when you think you know what the future holds (but who really does?!?!). It's a whole 'nother thing to follow blindly, surrendering to whatever He may bring, wherever He may lead. To picture what I want least and love least and choose that even that would be ok, if it was where God had lead me.

And in that death and surrender is where I will find life. I must take up my cross, and the shame and torture that it brings, and follow Him. Yet His yolk is light, and I won't be burdened by it. It is easier to endure the death of surrender than to go my own way. What a joyful and true paradox that is! I have seen it to be true so many times in my life. May it be true again.

"Oh My God"

The following song is by Jars of Clay. I love it. I could listen to it all day on repeat. I don't love the video, but it was the only recording I could find online. I pasted the lyrics below. Listen to it a few times.





Oh my God, look around this place,
Your fingers reach around the bone,
you set the break and set the tone
For flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain all fools say, "Oh my God."

Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
we make it worse when we don't bleed,
there is no cure for our disease.
Turn a phrase and rise again,
or fake your death and only tell your closest friends,
Oh My God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief.
Weddings, boats, and alibis,
All drift away, and a mother cries...

Liars and fools, sons and failures, theives will always say..
Lost and found, ailing wanderers, healers always say..
Whores and angels, men with problems, leavers always say..
Broken hearted, separated, orphans always say..
War creators, racial haters, preachers always say..
Distant fathers, fallen warriors, givers always say..
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows, users always say..
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters, Saviors always say..

Sometimes I can not forgive
and these days mercy cuts so deep,
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I'd dream we're better, scales were gone and faces lighter,
When we wake we hate our brother, we still move to hurt each other,
Sometimes I can close my eyes and all the fear the keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing, what makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder, we all have the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the plunder.

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven,
All the times I thought to reach up, all the times I had to give up.
Babies underneath their beds, in hospitals that cannot treat them.
All the wounds that money causes, all the comforts of cathedrals,
All the cries of thirsty children, this is our inheritance,
All the rage of watching mothers, this is our greatest offense
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.

A song in my head....

It's probably been at least a decade since I last heard this song by Rebecca St. James (is she even around anymore?). But it's been in my head for a few weeks. She sings it acapella on a "hidden" track at the end of another song. It is so simple and I really love the lyrics.....

Psalm 139

You search me

You know me

You see my every move

There's nothing I could ever do

To hide myself from You

You know my thoughts

My fears and hurts

My weaknesses and pride

You know what I am going through 

And how I feel inside

But even though You know

You will always love me

Even though You know 

You'll never let me go 

I don't deserve Your love

But you give it freely

You will always love me

Even though You know

Blog Name Inspiration

Rich Mullins' song is the inspiration for this blog's name.  May our life be one of mercy and love, so that the footprints we leave will be filled with grace.

Aidan you're young
But Aidan you're growing fast
Me and your mom
And all the love we have
We can only take you so far
As far as we can
But you'll need something more to guide your heart
As you grow into a man

CHORUS:
Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads

Aidan the day
Aidan the day will come
You'll run the race
That takes us way beyond
All our trials and all our failures
And all the good we dream of
But you can't see yet where it is you're heading
But one day you'll see the face of love

(CHORUS)

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Let mercy lead