Luca

A blog I love to read put out the following challenge: "Write your own post on your own blog, answering the question: What is saving your life right now? Write it quick, don’t overthink it, just spill it all out, it can be pictures if you want, whatever. If you’ve already written one, feel free to link that up, too."

So that's what I've done here. I must admit, I was a bit surprised at how quickly it came to me and how passionately I punched out the words on the little keys of my phone.

If you want to see what others have written, you can head on over to Emerging Mummy.

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What is saving your life right now?

A man. A good, loving, imperfect man. He takes on more and more and more and more when I get overwhelmed. He loves me over and over again when I lash out. He forgives me and guides me, gently, cautiously, back to God. He willingy leads, but doesn't force me to follow. He reads books and fights monsters with our little boys. He cuddles when I need to be loved and keeps his distance when I need some space. He washes dishes, prepares meals, folds laundry, gets up in the night with the boys, works all day, pays the bills......and on and on and on......

Our life is so lopsided these days. I need so much yet have so little to give. And he just loves me. Not always perfectly or just in time, but it's always there.

What is saving my life right now? My dear, under-appreciated husband. He is patiently loving loving loving whenever I need it. I know, beyond a doubt, that he is on my side no matter what and will still be here no matter how many horrible twists and turns that this crazy mess called "treatment" goes through. I know that I can take this time to work on all of the ugly and hurt and bad inside of me, and that he will still be here through every moment.

My dearest Luca-Love, you have been a rock for me when I can't trust myself or God or anyone else. Your love for me has renewed my desire to live and calmed me down when nothing else could. I love you and appreciate you and couldn't make it through this battle without you. I'm so glad that you are forever mine and I am forever yours. I love you. Your Jaymi-Love